After a year of transition in 2022, this year, I want to get more used to my ‘new set of clothing’. So…..a key focus will be to continue my journey of self-discovery. Essentially, it’s a journey of learning and growing and doing more of what I love and enjoy. After all, I am a lifelong learner.

As I’ve quoted previously,

‘The greatest discovery in life is self-discovery. Until you find yourself, you will always be someone-else. Become yourself.’

– Myles Munroe

I always find journaling prompts to be very helpful in clarifying what I want to focus on each year. Some prompts that I find useful to prepare for the year ahead include the following:

1.     What are my 3 top priorities in 2023? Why are they important?

2.     What do I want to achieve in the coming year?

3.     What challenges do I expect?

4.     What do I want to learn or get better at?

5.     Who will I connect with or spend time with?

6.     How will I take care of myself?

7.     What do I want to explore this year?

8.     What contribution will I make?

When I was reflecting on the first question, I have 3 main priorities for 2023, apart from what is always my primary focus of family:

• to read more of the business books in my library that I haven’t had time to read yet. I’m an avid reader of fiction but I want to spend time reading the more recent book releases from authors such as Brene Brown, Patrick Lencioni, Greg McKeown and Kim Scott;
• to continue to focus on my health and wellbeing. As we all get older, this becomes even more important;
• to spend more time journaling and quiet time in self-reflection; and
• if I could choose just one more, it would be to travel overseas this year.

Having more flexible time available means that I can make the time to focus on all of these activities during the year ahead.

What will be your priorities for 2023?

‘And you? When will you begin that long journey into yourself?’

– Rumi

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This year has been the first year where I’ve had a flexible work life, since I started working full-time many years ago. This year I’ve focused on spending time in my Non-Executive Director roles and my coaching practice. I’m definitely much busier than I expected to be, but having the flexibility that goes with not working full-time, has provided me with the opportunity to do more of what I love and enjoy doing.

So, 2022 has been a year when I’ve explored and reflected on who I am now, in my new ‘role’. It’s been a process of re-discovery. In many ways I felt like I’d taken off some very comfortable clothing that I’ve worn for many years, and replaced it with a new set of clothing that I have to get used to!

What I’ve found is that I’ve taken on a much more relaxed persona, one that has always been there, but hidden away by the busyness of life and work. It was when I got off the merry-go-round of full-time work (plus more), that I came to realise how worn out I actually was, especially after the significant work and personal challenges I experienced in 2021. 

‘Self-discovery is a journey that is always going on, a journey to know oneself more… always more.’  

– Nitin Namdeo

What’s wonderful about where I am now at the end of 2022, is that I feel like I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. I love and enjoy what I do, and I feel so much more relaxed and in the flow with what I’m doing. There is so much more freedom and time to be more exploratory and focus on what’s important to me now.  It’s not without its challenges, but it has brought incredible opportunities to continue to learn and grow. There has been sadness too, as I’ve moved away from the many social connections and community that I have been part of for so many years.

So, what has changed? I now:

• Work from home. My home is where my office is and it’s the base I come back to when I finish meetings.
• Have more flexibility and control over how I schedule and spend my time
• Focus more on my health and wellbeing. I exercise daily, have regular massages and reflexology. I’m much fitter and have more energy
• Spend more time with family, friends and colleagues
• Regularly write in a gratitude journal
• Do more new fun and interesting things
• Have more time to travel
• Go to watch more movies
• Read and listen to more podcasts and join interesting webinars
• Nurture myself with facials and day spa treats
• Spend time discovering more about who I am and what’s important to me now 

It feels rewarding to finish the year celebrating my re-discovery and I’m looking forward to evolving further in 2023!

‘The greatest discovery in life is self-discovery. Until you find yourself, you will always be someone-else. Become yourself.’ 

– Myles Munroe

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So, what is confidence?

Tony Robbins’ definition of ‘confidence’ resonates with me:

‘…confidence is not something you have, it’s something you create. Being confident is nothing more than a belief in yourself. It’s the feeling of certainty that you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to. Confidence comes from within.’

(Tony Robbins)

How do you develop confidence as a leader, especially if you have just made the transition to leadership?

Over the years I’ve heard many people talk about “fake it ’til you make it”. I’ve never been a fan of this approach, but it has worked for many people I know. My confidence journey has been based around the development of my belief in myself as a person, and then my belief in myself as a leader. This has happened over time, through the initial transition into leadership roles and then exposure to a wide range of challenges and experiences over the years. I am comfortable with who I am as a leader, which is a big part of my self-confidence.

I still remember a time, early in my leadership journey, when I was intentionally intimidated at an important meeting, where I was the only female presenting a significant business case.

It was a challenging experience, but I was calm and confident in the way I responded during the meeting. I had planned and prepared well and believed in what I was presenting… and ultimately, I was successful in achieving the desired outcome. I learned a great deal from that experience about the importance of self-confidence, and still reflect on it today.

What are some practical tips to work on, in order to build confidence as a leader?

• Know who you are and what’s important to you. Be clear about your beliefs, your values, your strengths and areas for development.
• Be comfortable with who you are. Believe in yourself. Be authentic.
• Understand your ‘why’: what drives you to do what you do.
• Stretch yourself, by starting small and slowly exposing yourself to new and different experiences. Be curious. Challenge yourself.
• Learn from your experiences through self-reflection and seeking feedback from others.
• Plan well and be prepared when taking on new experiences… stay calm and expect the unexpected!
• Be flexible, open and adaptable in your approach to situations. 
• Be a lifelong learner.
• Do more of what makes you happy.
• Develop a positive attitude and positive self-talk.
• Be kind to yourself.
• Seek out a mentor or coach to encourage and guide you.

‘Believing that you’re enough gives you the courage to be authentic.’

(Brene Brown)

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However, I find that many leaders are reluctant to delegate, especially if they’re new to their role. Often, this is because they see it as a loss of control and authority. By delegating work, a leader is actually sharing authority and responsibility. It’s not possible to do all of the work themselves. The reluctance to delegate can lead to feeling overwhelmed and stressed with the risk of burnout.

For delegation to be successful, the right work and the right amount of work must be delegated to the right people. When done well, delegation empowers people, builds trust and capability and creates an environment where people feel proud of what they have achieved.

In my own experience, the following are key questions to consider when delegating work:

1. How important is the task?
2. Who has the skills and motivation to complete the task?
3. What will be the delegated authority to make decisions during the task?
4. How will I monitor progress?
5. What will success look like when the task is completed?
6. How will learnings be evaluated?

‘Deciding what not to do is as important as deciding what to do’ 

– Jessica Jackley 

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Where does a strong sense of Values matter most in leadership?

Values are the guiding principles that dictate our behaviour as leaders. They help us make the right decisions and shape our interactions in the workplace. Values can have a huge impact on people’s productivity and job satisfaction. When there is a misalignment between our own personal values and those of our workplace, it can have a significant influence on whether we stay or leave an organisation. In my own experience, I once left a role that I loved because I could foresee that the planned changes within the organisation would result in a misalignment between my own personal values and that of the direction of the new leadership.

Identifying values

There are various values assessment tools available in the marketplace that can be used to identify people’s core values. You can use a simple checklist of the most common values to quickly identify those that represent what’s important in your life. I like the easy-to-use checklist that Brene Brown has on her website.

Planning organisational values

In the workplace, it is the values in the organisation’s strategic plan that are the guiding principles dictating behaviour. If people within the organisation have been involved in developing the values in the strategic plan, then they are more likely to own them and live them on a daily basis in the workplace. Systems can be created to encourage people to live the values, hold people accountable and ensure that the values are visible in action in the workplace. Over time, values and their behaviours become an integral part of what we describe as workplace culture: they are embedded in the ’way we do things around here’, the unwritten ground rules of behaviour. 

‘Values are like fingerprints. Nobody’s are the same, but you leave them all over everything you do.’

– Elvis Presley

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‘Trust is the operating system of every relationship.’ – Stephen Covey

Why is trust so important for leaders?

Trust is one of the key ingredients in establishing your credibility as a leader. It is essential to building an effective team where people feel safe to communicate openly, to innovate, to share information and to be vulnerable. With high levels of trust, the team becomes stronger, more cohesive and ultimately, more productive.

How can you build a culture of trust?

There is a great deal written about how to build a culture of trust as a leader. Covey’s list of ‘13 Behaviours of a High Trust Leader’ is worth reading. 

In my experience as a leader, it is possible to build a strong culture of trust within teams and organisations. It takes time, focus and a genuine interest in the people who you are working with.

As a leader, the following are critical things to do to build a culture of trust:

1. Act with integrity;
2. Lead by example; 
3. Listen and communicate openly and consistently;
4. Demonstrate care and respect;
5. Encourage and recognise good work; and
6. Provide constructive feedback and encouragement.

‘Trust is built in very small moments’  – Brene Brown

‘Trust takes years to build, seconds to break and forever to repair’  – Unknown

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They are important because, as Cairns (2003) states in the book Boardrooms that Work: ‘What brings boards and companies down is dysfunction in their social system’.

When boards function well, they make good decisions. The reverse is also true – dysfunctional boardroom behaviours can significantly impact effective decision-making and board performance.

There is a lot written about dysfunctional boardroom behaviours and group dynamics. To keep it simple, there are four dysfunctional board group dynamics that are commonly described in the literature:

1. Group think – Directors and management get on too well and decision-making happens too easily.
2. Mistrust – Directors are wary of management’s agenda and constantly question and probe.
3. Power – Directors support a charismatic director (not necessarily the chair) or the CEO who dominates interactions.
4. Hands-off – The board plays a supportive advisory role as a group of experts helping management, but don’t necessarily understand the business well.

In my experience, if you find yourself on a board that operates with any of these patterns, there are a range of strategies that you can put in place to minimise the impact of each of these behaviours. Some of these include the following:

• Where there is group think, seek alternative views or outsider viewpoints; promote validation of data and information.
• Where there is mistrust, focus on developing a strong chair/CEO relationship, ensure board papers are of a high quality and encourage opportunities for the board and management to get to know each other better.
• Where there is a dominant player, work to encourage and empower others to speak up, call out this behaviour.
• Where the board is hands-off, work to gain a deeper understanding of the business through site visits and management presentations and ensure that at least one of the directors has content knowledge about the business.

As I mentioned in my previous post, don’t underestimate the important role that an effective chair plays in establishing and promoting good board behavioural dynamics. With the right chair, with the right capabilities, and a group of directors who understand their role and responsibilities, dysfunctional boardroom behaviours can be minimised. 

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So… what are boardroom dynamics?

In simple terms, boardroom dynamics are the social patterns that operate within the boardroom that shape communication processes, which ultimately affect the decision-making capability of the board. Over time, repeated patterns of behaviour within the boardroom become a group habit or a board dynamic.

…and why are they important?

‘What brings boards and companies down is dysfunction in their social system’

– Cairns, 2003, ‘Boardrooms that work’.

A board that is founded on effective boardroom dynamics makes good decisions. Some of the effective behaviours that I have observed in the boardroom include the following:

• collaboration and co-operation;
• open sharing of information; 
• willing participation in discussions;
• fairness and respect;
• independent thinking;
• openness to explore different perspectives; and
• ability to find common ground

All directors within the boardroom are responsible for board dynamics. However, it is the Chair’s style and leadership that plays a significant role in influencing how board dynamics ultimately play out in the boardroom.

Something that works well for me when things are not going well in the boardroom, is to have a clear set of ground rules or rules of engagement in place that have been jointly developed by directors and executive. I’ve used these as the basis for discussion to draw attention to problematic behaviour/s in the boardroom. Depending on the behaviour/s this may have to be on a one-on-one basis, rather than with the whole board.

Next post I will talk about some of the dysfunctional boardroom behaviours that I’ve observed over the years!

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Psychology journalist Steven Handel says, “The truth is that questions can help us begin thinking in new ways, which can help us find answers that aren’t immediately apparent. The majority of our thinking happens unconsciously. But by asking questions, we bring our internal thought processes into the spotlight.”  (The Emotion Machine, 2009)

Below is a selection of different questions that I believe are important for leaders to ask themselves on a regular basis. The list is random and not in any order of priority and some questions are quite similar, though worth considering. After questions 1-5 and 10-13, it’s good to then ask, ‘How?’:

1. Did I focus on using my strengths today?
2. Did I bring my authentic self to work?
3. Did my behaviour today align with my personal values?
4. Did I spend my day on purpose?
5. Did I make a difference today?
6. What am I grateful for today?
7. What did I learn today?
8. What could I improve or do differently tomorrow?
9. How can I be a better leader?
10. Did I do my best work today?
11. Did I lead by example?
12. Did I achieve what I set out to achieve?
13. Did I acknowledge and thank people for their contributions today?

I usually pick out a few questions from the list above to ask myself, sometimes on a daily basis, but more often, it’s once a week on Sunday evening and write the questions and answers down in a journal. After a while it becomes a regular habit. To start with, you could set up a calendar reminder to make sure you don’t forget.

I’m a reflector by nature and I find that setting some time aside after a busy day or week, provides me with the head space to really focus on how I am showing up as a leader.

Is this something that you do too… and what question/s do you find most to ask yourself?

Just remember:

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Even though I consider myself to be a very resilient person, 2021 tested my resilience big time. After more than 20 years as a CEO, it wasn’t easy for me to make the decision to leave behind this career that I absolutely loved.

Most people agree that ‘resilience’ is the ability to ‘bounce back’ from stressful or challenging experiences, particularly when things don’t go as planned. For me, I did eventually ‘bounce back’. One of the important things that I did, was that I reached out to people who were close to me and people in my broader relationship network. These were people who I trusted, people who acted as a sounding board for me. This helped me ‘bounce back’ and ride the storms that came to disrupt my life during that year. 

Recent research by Cross, Dillion and Greenberg (2021)*, shows that resilience is heavily enabled by strong relationships and networks. Their research suggests that we can nurture and build our resilience by developing different kinds of relationships with a wide variety of people. Often it is these types of interactions and relationships that motivate and support us to persist when times are tough and challenging. 

Nurturing and growing these important relationships and connections takes time and energy, but I have found that it is well worth the investment.

What do you do when things outside your control disrupt your life?

References

* ‘The Secret to Building Resilience’: Harvard Business Review, 29 January 2021

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